Before I start this post I’d like to give a huge shout out and thank you to the folks at General Motors who supported the heck out of my last post. It means so much to me.
Now, onto business!
At nearly 22 years old, I was recently the recipient of my very first broken heart. Ah yes, my first one. Oh, the perils of youth. Moving on! Music is often my refuge in painful situations, but I have discovered that some music rubs salt in the wound. And I don’t mean cooking salt, I mean rock salt. Or ice-melting salt. Or a sick combination of the two.
So with my reasonably extensive knowledge of music, and frequent recent music choice fails, I have compiled a brief list of music to be avoided for those of you in similar situations.
1. 80% of any songs by Stars.
2. Avoid the Frames at all costs.
3. The Smiths can be taken in small doses. Pick songs at your discretion.
4. Death Cab for Cutie songs are frequently a poor choice.
5. Coldplay. But honestly, you shouldn’t be listening to Coldplay anyway.
6. The Cure. That’s an obvious one.
7. Any Simon & Garfunkel songs with a woman’s name in the title. Or angst-induced melancholy.
8. Mindless Self Indulgence. The music may be crap, but it will also bring you to the anger stage of grief far faster than you’d like. Also, will exponentially increase the level of said anger.
9. Anything by She & Him. Especially “Sentimental Heart.”
10. Happy music. It will make you bitter.
So, you may ask, if happy music is banned entirely, what do you suggest?
Well, that’s easy.
Put in your ear buds (because they bring the music most directly) and play The Misfits. No, don’t play the Misfits. Blast The Misfits. Rattle your eardrums. Listening to The Misfits renders your brain completely incapable of any thought (and I mean that in a positive way). The music is too fast and too loud to think about anything else.
This is my musical cure. If your ears start ringing, turn the music down. If your eardrums start bleeding, go see a doctor.